What went thong? How Sisqo said ‘I do’ to pop narcissism | Music

Picture the scene: Sisqo, glowing with pride on his wedding day, fighting back tears of happiness. He stands up, taps his knife on his champagne glass, turns to his new wife and raises the microphone. And, right there, in front of their assembled guests and possibly the vicar who married them, he belts out “LET ME SEE THAT THONG-ONG-ONG!” That’s right: Sisqo performed his international mega-hit Thong Song at his own wedding last month. He didn’t even try to slow it down into a romantic ballad, albeit one with the lyric “she had dumps like a truck, truck, truck”. Reports described it as a “lively choreographed rendition”.

“I initially sang Thong Song about the first thong that I ever saw, so it was only right to sing it about the last one I will ever see … in private, that is,” he explained in an email to his local paper, adding the instruction “insert wink” at the end in case anyone didn’t quite get it.

It is this level of ego that sets musicians apart from us normal humans. If, say, a pop music journalist insisted on reading out their snarkiest jokes about Ed Sheeran at their own wedding, that would be weird. But a pop star wanting to hear their own music as they celebrate their big day? Apparently, totally fine. Simon Webbe from Blue got married last month, and his bandmates serenaded him with a “medley of the band’s hits” at the wedding. Big up the wedding march and all that, but you know what’s better? Antony, Lee and Duncan doing a Blue megamix of All Rise and One Love.

And Kanye West, predictably, loves to listen to the music of Kanye West. In his comedy special Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening, Aziz Ansari described walking in on the rapper listening to his album 808s and Heartbreaks, and when Ansari asked if he was just sitting alone listening to his own album, West replied: “Yeah. These beats are dope.” It makes sense, in a way: why would you make what you think is the best album ever created and not want to listen to it?

However, Mariah Carey takes self-obsession to a whole new level. Mariah only ever listens to her own music. In her reality show, we see that she will only enter a restaurant if her music is playing. And, according to her now ex-husband Nick Cannon, Mariah also only listens to her own music in the bedroom, too. “Can you imagine having sex with Mariah Carey while Mariah Carey is playing?” he revealed on a talkshow in 2016. “That is a dream come true.” Clearly conditioned to associate Mariah’s music with sex, he also told Howard Stern that he could only enjoy “alone time” if he put on her songs.

You can see this two ways: either Mariah has brainwashed an innocent man, or it’s the only way anyone could ever enjoy her Glitter album.

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